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"Making Up Is Hard To Do" - Couples Therapy After Infidelity - Test
by Steven D. Solomon, Ph.D. and Lorie J. Teagno, Ph.D.

Course content © copyright 2008 by The Relationship Institute. All rights reserved.

Please note that printing this page does not constitute proof of completion of the course. After successfully completing this test, you may purchase your Certificate of Completion and print it immediately or have it mailed to you.

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1. The TRI Developmental Model of Long-Term Love Relationships has: Help
Two stages
 Three stages
 Four stages
 None of the above
2. The majority of couples who come to therapy are stuck in the ______ stage of relationship development: Help
Differentiation
 Sweet Symbiosis
 Soured Symbiosis
 Synergy
3. Infidelity is best defined as: Help
Kissing someone other than one's partner
 Having sex with someone other than one's partner
 Falling in love with someone other than one's partner
 Not keeping the LTLR's implicit or explicit agreement of emotional and/or sexual exclusivity
4. The responsibility for an infidelity rests with: Help
The betraying partner
 Both partners
 External stressors
 None of the above
5. Most relationships end because of the Third Deal Breaker, which is: Help
One or both partners never having loved the other
 Too much pain caused and the love between the partners is killed
 One or both partners is unwilling to take responsibility for his/her part in the relationship problems
 All of the above
6. Self Intimacy, is taught by using: Help
The Emotional Self Awareness (ESA) Exercise
 The Initiator-to-Inquirer (I-to-I) Exercise
 The diagnosis of the type of Infidelity
 The diagnosis of the developmental stage of the relationship
7. According to the TRI Model of Long-Term Love Relationships, LTLRs are fragile relationships that cannot recover from external stressors such as infidelity, substance abuse and financial problems. Help
True
 False
 Only if the couple don't love each other enough
 Only if the couple doesn't have a fulfilling sex life
8. Which of the following demographic findings regarding infidelity is/are accurate: Help
In younger adults women are catching up to men in their incidence of infidelity.
 Greater income and education level are positively associated with incidence of infidelity..
 Women do not engage in infidelity primarily for sex.
 All of the above
 A and b
9. Differentiation in couples is best defined as Help
The individual's ability to be separate from his/her partner and not experience anxiety.
 The individual's ability to define himself as a separate person, express this to his partner and tolerate the anxiety or tension that their differences create
 Having separate interests and friends from one's partner while also having a strong relationship.
 Viewing differences as natural and expecting to continue to grow as people over the course of the relationship.
10. Conflict Intimacy is best defined as the ability Help
to communicate your negative feelings with your partner
 to have conflict without arguing or hurting one another's feelings.
 to have differences and always arrive at mutually agreed upon solutions.
 of both partners to express feelings constructively, listen to the partner's feelings with curiosity and respect, and stay connected in the process as the couple works toward a mutually satisfying hybrid solution.
11. Affection Intimacy is best defined as Help
Good sex and frequent date nights
 Being able to talk about your sexual desires and dislikes with your partner and having your partner listen with curiosity and respect
 Being caring and considerate of your partner outside the bedroom and good sex in the bedroom
 A rich combination of acts of caring, words of caring, non-sexual touch and sexual touch.
12. The tool used to teach Conflict Intimacy is Help
Communicating and working to compromise
 Emotional Self Awareness (ESA)
 The Initiator-Inquirer (I-to-I) Exercise
 Using emails to start difficult conversations
13. The most accurate description of what powers an infidelity is Help
Expressed feelings of anger and hurt
 Feelings of inferiority and marital frustration
 Boredom with the routine of marriage and sameness
 Unrecognized and/or unexpressed emotions of anger, fear or loneliness
14. The key task for couples to accomplish in order to move through Soured Symbiosis is: Help
achieving ongoing sexual intimacy
 achieving a healthy level of Conflict Intimacy
 learning to accept what they don't like about their partner
 learning to be completely truthful with each other
15. The "acid test" indicating whether any Long-Term Love Relationship will thrive over time is: Help
the ability to develop healthy Conflict Intimacy
 the ability to develop healthy Affection Intimacy
 the ability to develop healthy Self Intimacy
 never going to bed mad at each other
16. The first stage in the TRI Developmental Model of Long-Term Love Relationships, Sweet Symbiosis, is: Help
classic unhealthy symbiotic functioning
 a powerful bonding stage that is vital for future LTLR health
 one of the most wonderful, magical times of anyone's life
 b & c
17. Self Intimacy is so important to LTLR health because: Help
it helps each partner love themselves
 it enables each partner to truly be intimate with the other partner
 it helps sexual intimacy
 it helps couples avoid fights
18. Infidelities of Fear are powered by the betraying partner's long-standing, deep-seated fear of: Help
intimacy
 commitment
 unworthiness of love
 any one of the above
19. The catalyst that sparks an Infidelity of Fear is: Help
a traumatic early childhood attachment
 being betrayed in a past LTLR
 low Self Intimacy
 high baseline anxiety
20. An Infidelity of Loneliness occurs when the LTLR is characterized by: Help
being arrested for considerable time in Soured Symbiosis
 low Conflict Intimacy
 low Self Intimacy in the betraying partner, which allows their sense of loneliness to become very deep
 all of the above
21. The betraying partner who has an Infidelity of Anger is so angry because: Help
their partner is abusive
 they never learned how to deal with their hurt and anger in a healthy way
 they have low Self Intimacy and low Conflict Intimacy skills
 b & c
22. Which of the following is NOT one of the three main early infidelity couples therapy treatment issues? Help
dealing with the betrayed partner's devastation
 making sure each partner has a good divorce attorney
 determining the betraying partner's earnestness
 LTLR and infidelity assessment
23. If the infidelity is ongoing, The LTLR can successfully heal and rebuild: Help
sometimes
 rarely
 usually
 never
24. Even though the responsibility for the infidelity lies completely with the betraying partner, the betrayed partner needs to take equal responsibility for the rebuilding of the LTLR's intimacy structure: Help
sometimes
 never
 only if they're a very giving person
 always
25. Accurate diagnosis of the type of infidelity will give the therapist what information vital to fashioning an effective treatment plan: Help
how close of tabs the betrayed partner needs to keep on the betraying partner
 the Three Intimacies strengths and weaknesses of the couple
 the role sex played in their LTLR problems
 all of the above

 

 

  
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